Tuesday, 19 July 2011

ADAB SUAMI ISTERI

 

ARTICLE INI KENA SUAIKAN DGN DIRI ANDA; SURIRUMAH ATAU WORKING WIFE. 

Apapun info ini ada yang boleh di guna pakai cuma kena suaikan dengan status anda. Bagi para suami, anda juga ada adab dengan isteri, bersama-samalah berkerjasama untuk institusi rumah kita

Kehadiran suami di rumah merupakan satu rahmat kepada setiap isteri. Hanya isteri-isteri yang menderhakai suami sahaja menganggap kepulangannya suatu yang dibenci kerana dibebani dengan berbagai kerja dan tanggungjawab. Amat malang sekali jika ramai lagi isteri-isteri yang masih bersikap sedemikian. Hilanglah matlamat perkahwinan di mana isteri sebagai penenang dan penyeri rumahtangga.

The family is that brick which forms the foundation of a society. It is composed of individuals that have permanent relations established between them. Most importantly, it possesses almost a majority of the different kinds of personal relations. Because of this, there must be certain etiquettes placed in order to control and regulate these relations. This is such that it can be maintained in the best possible manner, and so that it can generate and produce its proper fruits. Family relations consist of the relationship between the spouses from one perspective, the relationship between the parents and the children from a second perspective, and the relationship between the children themselves from a third perspective.


KEPADA ISTERI: Suami bercakap hendaklah isteri diam mendengarnya dan jangan suka menyampuk atau memotong cakapnya. Setelah suami habis bercakap barulah isteri boleh menjelaskan perkara tersebut.
TO HUSBAND: Do not chase after the small errors of your wife and recount them to her, for too much blaming and reprimanding will worsen the relationship between the two of you, and it will pose a threat to your marital life. When you lecture your wife or reprimand her or simply speak to her, choose the kindest and nicest of words and expressions for your speech.

KEPADA ISTERI: Bila suami marah hendaklah isteri mendiamkan diri, jangan suka menjawab. Sikap suka menjawab, bertekak dan menegakkan kebenaran sendiri akan menambahkan lagi kemarahan suami. Jangan terkejut jika suami angkat kaki meninggalkan rumah berhari-hari atau tidak mahu bertegur sapa dengan anda sebagai denda di atas kedegilan anda sebagai isteri. Sebaliknya, kalau suami kembali ke rumah jangan disambung atau diulang-ulangi cerita lama. Sambutlah suami dengan senyuman kasih sayang dan bersegeralah meminta maaf. Jangan kita tunggu suami meminta maaf dengan isteri, jatuhlah martabat keegoannya selaku seorang lelaki.
TO HUSBAND: There is no human being that is perfect. So there is no doubt that the husband will see things in his wife that do not comply with his natural disposition and preferences. If these aspects are not in opposition to the fundaments of Islam or to the obedience of the husband and his rights, then at that point, he should not try to change her personality. He should also remember that if there are some characteristics that he doesn't find pleasing in his wife, then indeed she has other characteristics, which are definitely pleasing to him. Do not give little importance to implementing the punishment required for any acts in opposition to the Islam, which your wife has committed, whether it is in the home or outside it. This should be the only reason that causes you to become angry. What has been stated previously does not mean that you should leave matters alone until that result comes to happen. Thus, whenever you realize that a matter is left alone, weigh it with seriousness and determination, without being too harsh or rude about it. 

Beware of scolding your wife or blaming her for a mistake she committed, in the presence of others, even if they are your own children. For indeed that is an act that goes against correct behavior and it will lead to raising anger in the hearts of people.

If you are forced to place punishment upon your wife after having adviced her and she didn’t respond, then let it be by staying away from her at bedtime. And do not boycott her except that it is done within the household. And avoid using foul language, insulting her, beating her and describing her with repulsive names.

KEPADA ISTERI: Kadang-kadang si suami sengaja suka mengusik isterinya. Bila dia menyakiti hati isteri hendaklah banyak bersabar, jangan cepat merajuk sehingga meleret-leret, cukuplah sekadar untuk bergurau senda. 

To Husband: Suami haruslah menggunakan perkataan yang tidak mengguris perasaan isteri dalam bergurau, contohnya seperti Nabi kita sendri menggunakan perkataan yang manis dalam menegur isteri Baginda. The husband should specify a time in which he can play around and pass free time with his wife. When you lecture your wife or reprimand her or simply speak to her, choose the kindest and nicest of words and expressions for your speech.

KEPADA ISTERI: Bila kuku, misai dan janggutnya panjang hendaklah segera dipotongkan (jika panjang janggutnya lebih dari segenggam). Pilihlah hari-hari yang terbaik iaitu hari isnin, Khamis dan Jumaat.

KEPADA ISTERI: Jika dia berhajat sesuatu hendaklah isteri cepat bertindak. Bangun segera bila disuruh. Jangan melengah-lengahkan kemahuannya supaya tidak mencetuskan kemarahan atau rasa tersinggung di hatinya. Jangan isteri buat acuh tak acuh, hatinya akan kecewa dan menandakan isteri sudah tidak taat padanya.
Bila bertembung kehendak suami dan anak-anak, dahulukanlah kehendak suami, begitu juga dengan kehendak ibu ayah. Sekiranya suami ingin dilayan hendaklah ditaati meskipun isteri berada di dalam keadaan letih. Melayani suami merupakan satu pahala besar keatas setiap isteri kecualilah jika suami kita meredhainya.

TO HUSBAND: It is appropriate for a man to not restrict himself from serving himself. This is since the wife takes care of the household affairs. So therefore, it is from good manners that the husband extends a helping hand to his wife in the house, during times of necessity, such as when she is sick, pregnant, has given birth or similar to that.


KEPADA ISTERI: Hendaklah memasak mengikut kesukaan suami bukannya ikut selera isteri. Kalau suami suka makan gulai kari atau masak lemak cili api, janganlah kita masak lauk asam pedas atau ikan goreng. Suami akan gembira bila seleranya ditepati. Janganlah pula ikan yang menjadi mangsa, diketuk lengkang-lengkung hingga hancur kerana meradangkan sikap suami yang mahu lauk tersebut dimasak mengikut seleranya sedangkan isteri tidak menggemarinya.

TO HUSBAND: Give time to her to prepare your favorite dishes as different background will give different effect to her, appreciate her effort is preparing the dishes and the kindest and nicest of words and expressions, thus this will encourage her to do better. Do not overburden your wife with acts that she is not able to handle. Consider, with extreme regard, the environment she was raised up in. Rural service is not like urban service, and the service of a strong woman and her preparation for it is not like the service of a weak woman.

KEPADA ISTERI: Apabila pakaian suami koyak atau tercabut butangnya hendaklah segera dijahit. Jahitlah dengan secantik yang boleh supaya pakaian itu kelihatan kemas dan cantik. Jangan dibuat sambil lewa kerana jahitan tersebut akan melambangkan peribadi isteri samada ikhlas atau terpaksa. Semua suami akan berasa bangga jika pakaiannya dijahit sendiri oleh jari-jemari halus isterinya, sekurang-kurangnya dapat menampung ekonomi rumahtangga.

KEPADA ISTERI: Sentiasa sediakan barang-barang keperluan di dalam poket baju dan seluar suami iaitu sikat, celak, cermin kecil, minyak wangi dan kayu sugi. Tidak menjadi kesalahan seandainya si suami menolak segala persediaan tersebut tetapi sekurang-kurangnya sediakanlah minyak wangi dan kayu sugi.

KEPADA ISTRI: Apabila menggunakan harta suami ataupun duit yang hendak kita hadiahkan kepada ibu bapa maka mintalah izin darinya terlebih dahulu. Jangan beri dahulu kemudian baharu diberitahu kepadanya. Siapa tahu mungkin wang itu amat diperlukan sedangkan isteri sewenang-wenangnya telah menghadiahkan kepada orang lain, suami dapat pahala sedangkan isteri tidak dapat apa-apa. Sebenarnya meminta izin itu ialah sebelum melakukan sesuatu tindakan bukannya setelah perkara itu berlaku diberitahu. Ini silap sebenarnya tapi kes-kes seperti inilah yang sering berlaku di kalangan para isteri.

TO HUSBAND:   If you are able, do not hold back from providing your wife with good clothing and food, and from being generous in spending money on her. This is of course according to the extent of your ability.

It is not proper for you to ask your wife to look for work outside of the house or to spend upon you from her wealth

KEPADA ISTERI: Sentiasa berada di dalam keadaan bersih dan kemas ketika suami berada di rumah. Isteri hendaklah berada di dalam keadaan berwangi-wangian supaya hatinya senang untuk bersenda gurau dengan isterinya . Ketahuilah bahawa bersenda gurau antara suami isteri juga merupakan salah satu ibadah yang diredhai oleh Allah swt.
TO HUSBAND: Constantly maintain the cleaning of your mouth and the freshening of your breath.

KEPADA ISTERI: Air minum suami hendaklah sentiasa disiapkan jangan sampai dia minta biarpun sekadar air masak sejuk. Sebaik-baiknya sediakanlah minuman panas seperti kopi, teh atau susu. Air panas elok disimpan di dalam termos supaya memudah dan menjimatkan masa kita. Kalau boleh sediakan kuih-kuih ringan seperti karipap, cucur, bubur, apam ataupun biskut kering. Hal ini juga dapat mengelak anak-anak dari membeli makanan ringan di kedai yang tidak mengandungi zat di samping tidak terjamin kebersihannya.
TO HUSBAND: The relationship between the spouses must contain one singular and specific nature. And it cannot be this way unless the couple begins demolishing all the obstacles and impediments that stand between them. For example, the husband should not feel timid and restrain himself from drinking out of the same cup that his wife drinks out of.

KEPADA ISTERI: Isteri sentiasa menghormati dan memuliakan keluarga suami. Bersikap ramah-tamahlah dengan keluarganya dan bersabarlah di atas segala tindakan mereka jika ada yang bertentangan dengan syariat. Di sinilah peranan isteri untuk berdakwah kepada mereka tetapi biarlah berhikmah dan kena caranya agar setiap tindak-tanduk kita dikasihi dan dihargai oleh mereka seterusnya menjadi menantu atau ipar yang dicontohi akhlak, peribadi dan ibadahnya

TO HUSBAND: Be prompt in fulfilling the conditions, which you promised to your wife during the pre-marriage agreement. 
Guardianship of your wife doesn't mean that you can exploit what Allah has bestowed upon you from taking charge of her, such that you harm and oppress her.
Showing respect and kindness to your wife's family is showing respect and kindness to her. This applies on the condition that it is not accompanied by an act forbidden in Islam, such as intermingling of the sexes or being in privacy (with them).

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